Why I'm me
by a cursed monkey
Summary: Takes place after TDA. During a new season of Total Drama, Duncan is forced to come to terms with his past. Juvie and other family problems keep coming back, and he becomes distant. Only one person can help, but can she get close enough? Pairings inside
1. Chapter 1: Nightmare

Disclaimer: This is new, but obviously I don't own the Total Drama Series.

This a new journey for me! I've written in some other areas, but I wanted to try my other favorite show. I love Total Drama, so to be able to write about it, it's awesome! If I get a few characters O.C.C, sorry. I'm still getting used to this. So, please just help me through that. Thanks!

Pairings:

Duncan/Gwen

Tyler/Lidnsey

Owen/Izzy

Heather/Alejandro

Cody/Sierra

Most of this story will be in Duncan's POV, and flashbacks in general POV.

Rated T for Language

* * *

AU if you wish to call it that. BTW: Total Drama World Tour only kind of happened. Here's a rundown:

-Alejandro and Sierra ARE known.

-No relationship's that were formed in TDWT pertain here... yet.

-Basically this is MY sequel to TDA. Does that make sense?

* * *

POV- General

"Duncan. I need to speak to you."

The young 9-year old looked away from his friends, and looked for who requested his presence. He found his large dad, standing at the doorway of the school. Duncan cocked his head, and tried to recall any reason his father might be calling him away from his recess. Let alone just be at the school.

His father, and mother, were police officers, and to see them was a treat. But judging by the look on his father's face, this was not going to be a treat.

"Yes?" Duncan asked, his voice devoid of any sass. He knew the consequences of sass, and he didn't want to suffer them.

"Son... how's about we head down to the office for today?" His father said weakly, and Duncan could tell something was up. A bad flash crossed his mind, and he quickly made sure to dispute that thought.

"It's not mom is it?"

"No. I need to... talk to you." This was completely unexpected, and caused Duncan to really search his mind. His father never wanted to "talk".

"Um, okay..." Duncan said, unsure of what else to say.

They walked silently to Duncans Dad's police car, and got it. Then, they began the silent drive down to the station. When they arrived, Duncan's head was aching from trying to figure out what was wrong.

They walked into the office, and Duncan was motioned to sit down. That's when the young boy noticed something. The security cameras were recording, and he was sitting in the interrogation seat.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Duncan asked, beginning to feel the slightest bit panicked.

"Duncan, believe me when I say this. I don't want to do this. But... I have to. It's my job." The tone that he used was so... grim. It made it sound like he was going to have to kill Duncan or something.

"Dad, what's wrong? What's going on? What job?" Duncan began to shot out questions, becoming more nervous with every question.

"Duncan. Do you remember that murder that happened yesterday?" The question was so sudden, that Duncan didn't even register the question at first.

"Wh-what?"

"That shooting. The one with the unknown killer. The one that resulted in..." His father choked on the victim's name.

Why?

Because, the victim was Duncan's brother, Mark. No one had been completely sure what had happened, but by the sound of it, his father had finally figured it out. Too quickly.

It had started as rare visit for Duncan, from his bigger brother Mark. He'd come back to do a few things, but didn't specify why he chose to take care of it then.

When Mark had taken Duncan out to the park, which was void of anyone at the time, things took a turn for the absolute worst.

"Hey little brother... I just wanted to tell you something." Mark had said, his eyes completely clear and empty of anything. It actually caused Duncan to become a bit suspicious.

"What?"

"I... I'll see you in hell!" Mark's once clear eyes were now full of rage, and in that rage, he pulled out a pistol from the waist of his jeans. He pointed the pistol at Duncan, but didn't see the chance to pull the trigger.

Because the reflexes of Duncan were too acute. And a knife was slicing it's way through Mark's heart. In defense, Duncan had stabbed his brother, and in a panic, he'd left his knife behind.

But before he left, he found the cause of the rage. Narcotics. They'd caused his once loving brother to turn into a mindless monster.

Instead of alerting his parents, he'd fled and told no one.

Now, his father had obviously discovered the truth.

"Why? WHY?" His father yelled, and slammed his fists on the interrogation table. He began to weep quietly.

"W-why Duncan?"

"D-dad... I-I didn't mean to. I was protecting myself." Duncan tried, but began to feel extremely destroyed on the inside.

"I have no proof of that. I... I..." His dad mumbled, and another police officer came in to relieve the crying officer.

"It's okay Chief. I-I'll take care of this." The new officer then turned to Duncan with a cold glare. "Boy, you're going to Juvie."

The place was not unheard of to Duncan, and he knew exactly what it was. And when the sentence was uttered by the officer, Duncan began to stare at his father with a pleading look. But, no mercy was given. The crying officer was gone, and replaced by one who was doing his duty. All fatherly ties, were severed, and in that moment, Duncan felt his heart shatter.

And in the pieces of despair, a new emotion built up. Rebellion.

A angry feeling welled up inside him.

And it burst the second the cell bars closed on his cell.

Duncan Moore was a changed person, and the yell he gave was proof enough.

"AHHH-"

* * *

"-HHHHHH!"

_**POV- Duncan**_

"WHAT?" A chorus of startling snores and shouts were heard, and then, a group huddled around me, who had yelled loud enough to wake the entire hotel. But the hotel part didn't register in my brain. All that made it through, was that I was alone, and surrounded.

The dream, still vivid in my mind, had completely... freaked me out. And that's saying something, 'cause I don't get scared.

But the mass amount of people surrounding him didn't help me. In a frantic attempt to get them away, I pulled the pocketknife I hid under his pillow out, and held it out to threaten them. Most gave a startled yelp or gasp, and everyone backed up.

There was silence, and the only thing heard was my heavy breathing as I struggled to calm himself.

A light flickered on, and I flinched as the bright light struck my eyes. The faces of his concerned ones were illuminated, and I was a bit shocked to see everyone's worried faces. Well, not everyone's. But most of the guys room. Harold, the girl that he was, was clutching D.J. Geoff had his hands up, and a odd look on his face. One between worry of his friend, and one about his arms getting hacked off.

Justin was as far back as possible, probably to avoid getting his "precious" skin cut in any way. Cody was turning blue from holding his breath. He was scared senseless with me holding that knife. Noah was holding a book in front of him. As if that waste of paper was going to protect him. Tyler, being the athlete fail he was, had tried to jump back or something, and ended up falling on his back. Owen was too lazy to have done anything, and was still sleeping. Alejandro was wisely in his bunk. And Trent... well, I didn't really care what he was doing.

A part of me actually scolded myself for NOT hacking him to pieces.

I convinced myself that none of them meant any harm, and slowly put my knife away. I wiped the sweat that formed at my brow away, and sat back down on my bed. In my knife threat, I'd jumped to the floor.

It was the normal distance to the floor, unlike what I was used to. Last season, we had bunk beds, and I'd been on top most of the time.

Now, since the room had enough beds for all of us, I was closer to the ground. So, it made sense that I'd jump out of bed.

Since I wasn't startled anymore, I was irritated. Which was just as bad.

"What?" I asked, trying to cover up the fact that I, bad-ass Duncan, had just yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Man, you just... well, you screamed." Geoff tried, not quite sure what to say. His strong suit was partying. Not talking sense.

"And?" I said, not trying to cover anymore. They wanted to say anything, and they'd answer to my fist.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Alejandro asked. I raised an eyebrow. I was about to answer, when the dweeb beat me to it.

"They say that nightmares are the brains way of telling us about our biggest fears, or accidents in life." I felt like punching Harold on the spot. Then again, I always feel like punching him.

"Yeah? So tell me, do you want to have a nightmare about me?" I asked menacingly, rushing up to him and grabbing his by the scruff of his pajamas. His eyes widened and he shook his head frantically.

I threw him down, and knew exactly what I was doing. Channeling my frustration and anger, out on the nearest thing possible. Harold. Not like he could make it any easier though. I mean, just looking at him wanted to make me punch him and take out a whole life's worth of anger.

"Are you okay?" D.J. asked, and I sighed. I could beat up on Harold, but not on my friends.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Just go back to sleep." I mumbled, and laid back down. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw D.J. and Geoff exchange a look, but didn't delve any deeper. Someone shut off the lights, and within minutes, I heard some snoring, meaning someone fell asleep again.

I looked over at Noah's stupid illuminate clock, and saw it was 3:46. Fucking Chris would probably wake us up at 6:00, so I needed to get some sleep, or feel like crap the entire day.

But every time I closed my eyes, they forced themselves back open, and I remembered that memory. My brother's blood... my father's disappointment... my loneliness.

It was exactly what had turned me into what I am today.

A delinquent.

Out of disappointment, I turned to making myself rebel. My entire family's been part of the police life. My dad, mom, grandparents... hell, my cousins were police officers! And they were only 13.

I did things that made my dad mad. I skipped school. I drove over the speed limit. I broke laws whenever I felt, and did petty stuff like that.

Hell, I'd done my fare share of robbery's.

But I'd never killed anyone. Not since my brother.

Slowly, I felt myself nodding off, and I forced myself to feel the same as I did during the dumbass Awake-a-thon.

Finally, sleep came back.

Only to be interrupted 5 minutes later to Chris's fucking bullhorn.


	2. Chapter 2: I'm back!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Total Drama Series, and now in this case, Total Drama World Tour.

This is a side note, whatever events happened in TDWT will be altered. In such, Duncan quitting, probably won't happen. But as for

Here's a quick response to my reviewers, as I always do!

* * *

**tdifreak55**: I always imagined him having a traumatic past, causing him to be more of what he is now.

**blackthorn-slytheren**: Thanks. I tried to keep it as in-character as possible. Haha, realistic. I'll do my best to keep the chapters coming!

**XWithoutXWarningX**: Aw, you're making blush! Other reasons... well, originally, I had it where his brother was committing suicide and had Duncan do it for him, but that was a dead-end. It made more sense for a crazed brother murder scenario. I'd probably do it, if threatened. Okay, good. For Duncan's voice, I wanted it to seem like he'd actually say something like that. That was my first goal! Accomplished! And has Chris ever let them sleep? Thanks, and you'll definitely hear more!

**Duncan-Gwen-Roxx**: THANKS! OKAY!

* * *

P.O.V- Duncan

"GOOD MORNING COMPETITORS!" Chris screamed, and I was tempted to take my knife and ward him away. I would've said slice, but due to that freaking dream, I wanted nothing to do with slicing or dicing. So, instead, we groggily left our hotel room, and walked into the large hallway.

The producers had felt it fit to allow us a stay at the largest hotel in Canada, as a reward for putting up with 2 seasons of this horrid show. Unfortunately, Chris didn't feel the same way.

"What do you want McLean?" I growled, seeing as no one else was going to step up and speak. He grinned that narcissistic smile, and I knew he was going to do something that would piss everyone off.

"Well, I was just going to tell you to enjoy your free day. Tomorrow, we begin season three! Total! Drama! World TOOOOUUUURRRRR!" When he said "Tour", he shouted it into the speakerphone he was carrying around, and it made us all cringe.

Apparently, Chef had the right idea though. He walked up to Chris, and took the speakerphone away.

"HEY! I was USING that!" Chris shouted, and Chef shrugged. Chris turned back to us, "Just, enjoy your day. Because this next season's going to blow. Your. Mind!" He laughed, and then began to chase Chef trying to get his speakerphone back.

"So wait. Chris just woke us up to tell us to enjoy our day?" Leshawna asked. Wow, she's sharp this morning.

"Yep. Typical Chris." Gwen groaned, and I saw she had small black marks under her eyes. Looks like someone else didn't get any sleep.

"OOH! When I get my million, he's going to get it!" Heather growled, and I saw some eyes roll. Typical Heather, always thinking she's the best. I just walked back into my room, and climbed back into bed. If this was our free day, I was going to enjoy it in my way. Which was sleeping. I only heard the door open once more, and looked to see D.J.

Good, at least he was quiet.

"You alright Duncan? You look kinda pale." So much for being quiet.

"Tired..." I mumbled, trying to avoid saying anything.

"Are you sick?" D.J. asked, apparently not convinced with my one word answers. He was just like my teachers.

"No."

"Upset?" That one was closer.

"No."

"Well, whatever it is, hope you feel better. I'll keep everyone out, 'kay?" Ah, good ole' D.J.

Willing to help out a friend. Of course, he wasn't fast enough to stop **her** from coming in.

"DUNKIE!" Oh God my ears...

"Uh, Courtney, I wouldn't. Duncan's kinda sick." I kept my eyes closed, but I could feel the glare coming from Courtney. Instead of listening to D.J, she came up to me, and felt my forehead.

"I don't feel a fever. Meaning that there's no infection."

"Well, it can be a headache or something that doesn't require a fever." The big teen tried his card, but I knew it wouldn't work. Once Courtney felt she was right, she stuck to it.

"Being a former C.I.T, I think I know all the body's infections, and that a fever is used in 90% of them." Even though my eyes ever closed, I still rolled them. I had no idea if she was right about the percent or not, but I did know she was NOT going to let me sleep.

"I think I should make him a drink that'll help combat all sickness. Let me go get it from my suitcase." I felt her remove her hand, then her quick footsteps.

"Go man, now's your chance." D.J. informed me, and I jumped up.

"Owe ya!" I shouted as I ran through the door, and then I began my search for a place to sleep.

* * *

Hot tub?

No. Bridgette and Geoff's make-out sessions would add to my nightmares.

Food hut?

No. Being surrounded by Owen's gas was never going to let me sleep.

My room was already out of the question.

That left the game room, where I'd most likely find Cody among a few others, and the Sauna.

Out of anywhere, the Sauna was a good hide-out. Very few of the contestants knew about it, mostly because it wasn't on the map. It was risky sleeping in steam, 'cause I didn't know if you could die from overheating in a sauna. But for now, I'll risk it.

I made a quick look around, and saw no one. I went in quietly, and the steam made for a good cover. Though, I grinned when I didn't see anyone. Normally, you weren't supposed to wear anything, but I really didn't want someone to walk in on me sleeping. While naked. Talk about vulnerable... So instead, I went in with only my boxers. Of course, I still had my knife on me. That was always on me.

I sat down on the wooden bench inside, and then slowly laid down. The wet wood was an odd feeling, but I quickly adjusted, having slept in much worse of places.

The steam helped to calm me, and surprisingly, it wasn't that hot. It was mild. Perfect. Within minutes, my mohawk was drooping, but I really didn't care, as I was fast asleep.

I had only one dream, and I couldn't really say it was bad. It wasn't good either. It was... neutral.

Basically, I was standing on the ground, and a white mist surrounded me. At first I thought I was back, at the sauna, but I quickly noticed the ground wasn't wood. Or wet. It was... ugh, I don't know. It wasn't wet or dry. Damn, that's a pretty bad description.

"Hey!" I shouted, seeing if there was anyone nearby.

No response.

Hm. So this place is barren? From what I could see, everything was flat. No walls or dips.

It was nothing. This place was empty and I was alone.

"HELLO?" I shouted again, making sure I was completely alone.

"Hey Duncan. Long time no see." A familiar voice behind me caused me to spin around. But who I saw, caused me to almost have a heart attack.

"Mark?"

"Yep. How've you been?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to pick out anything signaling an impostor. But everything was there. The scar above his eye, from a fight he had in 4th grade. The tattoo on his palm, him and girlfriend got when he was dating in 7th grade.

Everything but the marks I left from our last encounter...

"Well, I'm seeing you again. So, not so good." I said, keeping my distance. He took a step forward, and I took one back. Even if this was a dream, I wasn't going to take any chances.

"Cold bro. Aren't I your favorite?" He smirked. I scowled.

"You were up until you tried to shoot me. Then you lost your rep." I growled, and he put his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, that was always a mistake." He said, and for a second, I though I heard some sincerity. I almost took a step forward, but I fell back as he pulled a flamethrower out of his pockets. At this point, I didn't even question how it fit in his pockets.

"I should've burned you. See you in hell." His malice was back, and flames erupted from the barrel of the thrower. They touched my skin, and I roared in pain. It felt so real. I managed to look at Mark, and now, he looked like I'd left him. Blood pouring down his chest and a wound in his heart.

The mist turned red, and the pain got worse. A loud laugh screeched in my head, and I clutched it with my hands and dug my nails into my skull.

My vision finally blacked out, and the pain finally subsided.

* * *

"DUNCAN!"

5 more minutes...

"C'MON, PLEASE WAKE UP!"

Jeez, don't shattered my eardrums...

Wait, that's not Courtney's scream. That's... definitely not Lidnsey's. Not Heather or Leshawna... is... is it Gwen's? No. Gwen doesn't scream. Is it D.J's? Or... ugh... my head fucking hurts...

There was a powerful pulsing going on inside my head, and it felt like I was having a hangover. A really bad one at that.

Slowly and reluctantly, I opened my eyes. As light burned them, other colors made their ways into my sight.

At first, a black. Then, a small line of teal. Then a pale-ish white.

Huh, what'dya know. It _was_ Gwen.

"Duncan?" Her quiet voice asked me, and I wanted to reply, but my voice failed me.

"Can you hear me?"

"Nrrgra." I mumbled out, and her eyes widened. She looked around quickly, then looked into my eyes again. Her dark gray eyes looking quite beautiful...

"Is he awake?" Oh God please, not Courtney. Not now. Please, 5 fucking minutes without her!

"Uh, no. Not yet." Apparently, Gwen had seen my eyes widen in horror, because she covered for me.

"Well, get me when he wakes up!" I heard the door slam, and I sighed. Gwen smirked at me.

"Can't handle your own girlfriend?" She taunted, and I tried my voice.

"N-no." I grumbled, and Gwen raised an eyebrow with the roughness in my voice. It wasn't even my voice.

"What happened?" She asked, and I knew she wouldn't let it go until she got the straight answer. She was just like me. If a friend was hurting, I wouldn't leave them alone until they told the truth, no matter how long it took.

"Tired... slept... nightmare..." I stammered out, still unable to speak properly. Now I realize how much it must suck for mute people.

"What was it about?" Fuck her interrogating...

"Juvie..." I lied. Not that I didn't trust her, but that event was a bit personal. Too personal. Besides, I was bound to have secrets. I'll bet she has a few herself.

"Oh. Does anything hurt?" Apparently, she wasn't about to dive into that topic while I couldn't speak, but I knew it was going to come up later.

"Head... ho-ow'd you find?" I really hate this voice failure. When I can move again, I'm gonna give my voice box what for.

"In the sauna. Uh... I went in and saw you squirming on the floor. After I'd closed the door too. You scared me. But once I saw you in pain, I called to you, but you didn't respond. So I got some help. We took you to the Hotel's medical room, but they had no idea what was wrong with you... they thought you were having a seizure. And... we thought... we thought you might die." I saw a stray tear, something I rarely saw. I raised a shaky hand, and brushed it away.

"I-I won't go... that easy." I smirked, and she smiled sadly.

"I hope not." She said, hugged me, and left. She didn't want to be at Courtney's wrath when she came back.

I laid there a few moments before the door opened again, and then I sighed.

"Duncan! You're awake!"

Fuck me...


	3. Chapter 3: Strain on the relationship

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. Not Total Drama Island, Action, OR World Tour.

Hm. This story is attracting a fair amount of attention. I am pleased. Haha, too formal. Anyways, I'm gonna continue my ritual of responding to my reviewers.

Thanks to:

**Sunshine-Midnight123**: Sweet! I'm glad you're enjoying it. Hope you like the more to come!

**coldblue**: Thanks! I guess it's better, from someone who likes the other better or something. Since I like these two shows identical, I can't really determine it. 'Kay! Will do!

* * *

"Well campers! Here we are! Back for another thrilling season of! Total! Drama! WORLD! TOOOUUURRR!" Chris's shouted caused me to almost keel over, and puke.

It had been 3 long ass days in the "infirmary" and they'd done next to nothing. Might as well have left me in the Sauna. Over those 3 days, I only saw Gwen that once, when I'd woken up. Other then that, Courtney had felt it fit to not allow ANYONE but herself to see me. Yeah, I was feeling pretty suicidal right there.

Not that I hate Court. or nothing, but she was getting WAY too clingy, and too obsessive. I was seriously considering dumping her, for like, the 5th time. Honestly, I'd lost count at 3. Plus, she re-wrote those contracts and papers, on how to be HER boyfriend.

Uh-uh. Duncan Lane is NOT owned by anyone. I act my way, or it's the highway.

Back to now, my head was still pounding from... whatever I'd done, and Chris's high-pitched voice made it hurt even worse.

Harold, I swear, if you say ONE thing, I will pu-

"Is this season going to require mad skills? Because, the last two haven't, and I don't feel like winning without them." I closed my eyes, and grit my teeth, holding my fist back from Doris's face. Yeah, Doris.

His 2nd or 3rd middle name is Doris. Jeez, the kid's got one hell of a middle name. It's just plain weird. Just like everything else about him.

"Depends. Do you feel like going home with 1,000,000 big ones?"

"Actually, I'd be going back to Skylar's Summer Space Camp. My parents won't be home when this ends." At that, I snapped. Why? I dunno, but it felt right. My temper was bursting, and even though that comment wasn't too annoying, it was Harold, and his voice was enough to make we wanna pulverize him.

"Shut up!" I shouted, and punched him in the nose, and hearing a satisfying crack. I heard a few gasps as well, before being tackled by big ole' chef.

"You want some big guy?" I challenged, having more then enough.

"You challenging me?"

"Yeah, I think I am!" I threatened, cracking my knuckles. Harold was holding his nose, and I thought I saw a tiny bit of blood, but it could've been my vision going red.

"Then bring it!" Chef beckoned, and I rushed forward, ready to pummel the large cook.

But something inside my head failed, and I fell to my knees. My chest tightened, and my vision blurred. My entire body just shut down. I heard a few muffled yells, and then, blackness.

* * *

Huh. This is a familiar feeling. Waking up, feeling like I'm flying...

Wait... didn't Chris mention something about the world?

Putting a hand on my head, I made a pointless effort to stop the pounding, which was worse now then earlier. It absolutely sucked already, and my eyes weren't even open.

"Duncan? You awake?" Hm, not Courtney. Or Gwen. But it's definitely a girl.

"Wha?" I mumbled, slowly opening one of my eyes. My vision was blurry at first, but it adjusted as the light fluttered above me. I was sleeping on some sort of cod, like the ones in the military on boats.

"How do you feel?"

"Horrible." I muttered, at least glad that my voice still worked. Last time, it was completely broken, and I could barely talk. "W-what happened?"

Finally, I got a clear sight of my care-taker. My best friend's girl, Bridgette. Her blond hair covering her face. I'll admit, she's not too shabby, but she's Geoff's right now. I may be a criminal and a punk, but I ain't a jerk. I respect my friends, and Bridgette is included. So, I won't hit on her, cause that's the right thing to do.

Ha, not very often someone hears me say that. The right thing, and me doing it. Damn, I must be pretty hurt.

I tried to sit up, but when I did, my vision went out of focus again, and my head thumped even harder.

"Don't! You don't wanna make it worse!" Bridgette warned, and I could tell she was panicked about something. I doubt me sitting up was enough to drive her to a panicked state.

"Listen Ms. Malibu, I think I know my own limits." I grunted, and pushed myself into a sitting position. The only good sign I saw, was that I came up with a clever nickname for yet another competitor.

The bad part, was my vision was out, and my hearing was faded. Like, I was far away from whoever was speaking to me. Or, like an explosion had just gone off, and my ears were muffled by the bang.

"Duncan!" She yelled. I must've almost fell over again, but I held myself strong. A few seconds-or minutes- passed, and I finally felt better again.

"Right. Good knowledge." She said smugly, and I said nothing. I really couldn't think of a clever comeback.

Yet another bad sign.

"What happened again?" I repeated my question from earlier, and she sighed.

"Well, you fractured Harold's nose, and then Chef almost fought you. But, due to your injury earlier, you passed out from the huge amount of adrenaline, and we discovered you've suffering from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. All the symptoms came back as PTSD, so I wanted to know, if that's true."

"Course not. What would I be traumatized by?" I said cockily, as if I didn't know.

"Dunno. But being Courtney's girlfriend must hold some trauma." She said, and I laughed. Like, a real-deal laugh. It made my head spin, but it was worth it.

"Wow. Nice. That contests with Gwen's best." I said, and she laughed too. I sat there, rubbing my temples, and she did a few reflex tests. I was a bit slower then normal, yet another reason Bridge was convinced I had PTSD.

"So, if you're so convinced I had P-T-S-D!" I said for dramatic effect, "What are some effects of it?"

"Well, you're tired more often, you get flashbacks of the event, you're angry, a bit of depression on the side. That's only a few too. There's a lot of symptoms, and they vary. So I need to know, what're you suffering from?" She turned the table on me so quickly, I almost didn't have a response ready.

Almost.

"Well, I don't get any of that. 'Cept maybe anger. Harold's been pretty annoying lately." I muttered, and Bridgette looked me over, probably to tell if I was lying or not.

Ha, good luck with that sister. I have a perfect poker face. So good, that I was arrested in a casino once. Though, it might've been because I fought the officers who tried to escort me out, once they realized I was too young.

Bridgette kept the scan going, before I finally intervened.

"See anything you like?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrow. Bridgette rolled her eyes, and helped me to my feet.

"Just, go. And if you feel sick, or feel like telling me what's wrong, go ahead. Even if we're on opposite teams, you're still my friend Duncan." She said kindly, and I grinned at her, and saluted.

She laughed, and walked out of the... whatever we were in, and I tried to follow.

Except my legs refused to be strong, and I was flailing all over the place. Finally, I decided to use the walls as support, and I made my way into the seating area of the plane- which was huge!

Apparently, this was the loser class, and first class was the place to be. It was probably worth a million dollars. All info, contrary of D.J.

He was first to see me, then he helped me to the cafeteria area, where everyone was gathered. I saw Bridgette whispering to Gwen, and she looked in my general area. Meaning, she was spilling the beans on my condition. Heather was too preoccupied... doing something I'd never seen her do in the past.

Ogle at a guy. Apparently, she was getting the hots for Alejandro. Why? I dunno, but that could be because I'm straight. Just saying, I see nothin in him. Which I guess is good.

Ezekiel, who somehow got back on the show, was trying to be a rapper. He was failing pretty miserably at it, but he DID manage to clear a perfect circle around him.

LeShawna was sitting next to Gwen, but for once, didn't seem to be talking. Such a rare thing THAT was. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't hate her or nothing. But she's just so damn annoying with all her talking. She really never shuts up. That's why she's almost perfect for Harold. Neither can pipe down.

"Hey Dave? Have you seen Taylor?" I looked to my left, and saw the only person on the entire show who couldn't get my name right. Or anyone's for that matter.

"It's Duncan. Say it with me, DUNCAN. And no, I haven't exactly been awake lately if you didn't notice." What was I saying? Of course she didn't notice. Asking if Lindsay noticed something was about as dumb as asking her to say my damn name.

"Duncan. Yay! I got it!" She said, jumping up and down. I sighed, and spotted TYLER arm wrestling Cody of all people.

"Hey, blondie. Your man's over there." I said, pointing, and immediately, Lindsey stopped jumping, and looked where I pointed. She gasped, and began her odd run over there.

"Thank you Drew!" She called back. I threw my head back in frustration. She's way too dunce. No one will ever get through to her. Ever.

I kept looking through the crowd, and saw Izzy and Owen talking... er, Owen talking. Izzy was... poking him? She was doing something, but I really couldn't tell. And with Izzy, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to know.

DJ had run off somewhere. Hopefully, if we were eating soon, he was going to making it. He was a fantastic cook last season, and when I saw him return this season, I was definitely hoping he would cook again.

Noah was reading, typical. Nothing new for him.

Sierra though- I think that was her name- was nowhere to be seen. So, I relocated Cody.

Low-and-behold, I did find Sierra. In the dead plant in the corner, watching Cody. Oh man, that was just plain scary. I don't even have words to describe that. It's just... wow...

Alejandro was looking out the window. At least, to someone who glanced at him. But when I watched him for a couple seconds, I noticed him continuously glance at Heather. Uh-oh! Looks like someone's got the love bug! Ha ha, now that'll be interesting! Seems like both like each other, but already, I can tell they'll both deny it.

I purposely didn't look for Courtney, as I knew her to be probably watching me like a hawk. Waiting for me to do something against her contract, and jump me in anger. She was honestly driving me insane. Her and her dumb-ass rules.

Seriously, I was thinking about breaking up with her- permanently.

I was beginning to feel a bit woozy, so I took a step forward, to go sit down, when I stumbled. I took in a breath, trying to clear my head, but blood rushing to it when I heard the most annoying voice in the world.

"Well, well, well. Whose the tough guy now? The one with a broken nose, or the falling one?" Gritting my teeth, I turned to my right, and wasn't surprised to see Harold with like, 5 boxes of tissues shoved up his nose. It was huge, and swollen, and purple. Looks like I got him good, and if he knew what was good for him, he'd stop talking, and run.

"Me still. Cause I'm the one who gave you the broken nose!" I growled, already feeling the side-effects of... whatever I had, come back.

"Yeah, but I wasn't ready. Now, I'll use my mad skills and break your nose!" He said, and rose one of his legs into the air, like a ninja pose or something.

"How about I break something worse then your nose!" I shouted, and a few hands gripped onto me, and pulled me back.

Turns out, the whole room had gone silent once Harold started talking to me, and now that I was about to break every bone in his body, they intervened.

Of course, the fucking idiot goaded me on by making ridiculous noises, and moving a hand like he was repelling me. I growled, and swiped with my fist, but only knocked into his hand.

I must've forgot who I was fighting, because when I made contact, he hissed, and recoiled. He cradled his hand in his shirt, and yelped. Realizing I would do a LOT more damage then that, he hid behind LeShawna, who was big enough to hide him, and poked his head out from behind her.

"C'mon nerd! Thought you were gonna break my nose!" I challenged, and he was about to say something, when Gwen took charge of me.

"That's enough Duncan!" Her voice was full of authority, and that honestly surprised me. I never thought she could talk like that. I stopped my charge, and the hands that were holding me- which involved DJ, Alejandro, and Owen- loosened up on me, like a person holding a dog's leash.

She looked into my eyes, and I looked into her calming gray ones, and the plead for me to stop was evident. I pulled away from my holders, and growled once at Harold, before retreating into a seat.

"Thank you." I heard Gwen whisper as she walked by me, and something seemed different about her. Like... her smell was nice. Wow, that was just weird...

I didn't say anything, and just continued to sit there, and the conversations that were pre-existing resumed. After a few minutes, the plane must've hit some turbulance, cause we were thrown into the air.

No joke, we all hit the ceiling, and fell down.

And I was surprised to fall on Owen. A good landing.

Fortunately, and unfortunately, Gwen landed on me. She landed with an 'oof' and I cringed as her hand accidentally whacked my head.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry Duncan!" She apologized quickly once I got off my landing pad.

"Thanks Owen. And it's no problem." I said, and Owen laughed as I thanked him.

"Not a trouble Duncan! Pleased to help!" He said cheerily, but Gwen wasn't as cheery as he was.

"Duncan, I just made you wince. You! Wince! That doesn't happen." Gwen pointed out, and I had to give it to her. I don't wince. Unless it's happening to someone else, or I was just hit in the kiwis.

"Well, you caught me by surprise. Chill Princess. I'm fine." I knocked on my head, and proved to her that I was fine.

Course, it did hurt a little, but nothing serious.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes Courtney." I said, taunting her.

"Don't go comparing me to her!" She said playfully. Or maybe it wasn't so playful. I couldn't quite tell.

"Who're you comparing her to? A demon?" I sighed as Courtney rushed over. Of course I tabooed myself when I said her name.

"No actually, but now that you brought that up, it seems quite like you." I said jokingly, but meant it for real.

"First off, I am NO demon! Do NOT go comparing me to one! And second, you're violating at least several rules from our contract here. First off, you're hanging out with her!" Courtney said, pointing to Gwen, apparently unable to say her name.

"Hey!" Gwen said indignantly, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, you can't pick my friends!" I said, and Courtney held up a random page of her document.

"Page 23, Section 17, Article 2. I have every and any right, to pick who you may communicate and hang out with." Courtney recited the page, and I scoffed.

"Since when was that in there?"

"It's always been in there! You just didn't read my documents!"

"Uh, cause, this isn't a dictatorship! Hell, I'm not even sure this is a relationship anymore!" I boomed, and Courtney gasped.

"Wh-what're you saying? That you don't want to be together anymore?" She stuttered, and I moaned. Yes! That's EXACTLY what I mean.

"I'll... just be going..." Gwen said, and she walked away from the awkward fight she caused involuntarily. But it's not like when she left, it did anything. She walked over to a stunned Bridgette and LeShawna, who could hear the whole thing clearly. In fact, everyone could.

"I'm saying, you can't rule everything! I will not be controlled!" I shouted, and she put her hands on her hips. Her hurt expression replaced by one of anger.

"And I will not have a rule breaking boyfriend!"

"I will not have a ruling girlfriend!"

"So that's it then? We're done? After all that I did for you?" She said, and I scoffed.

"All you did? What did you do for me? Huh? Tell me! Cause I wanna know!" I shouted back, and she was about to list off some insane things, when a screen came down from nowhere.

"All this drama! Will Chef ever learn how to fly a plane properly? Will I get my double caffeinated mocha? Will Duncan and Courtney get though this still a couple? Find out next time on To-" I slammed my shoe into the screen, not wanting to hear Chris.

"TOTAL! DRAMA! WORLD TOUR!" It was silent for a moment, then he almost gave us a heart attack when his obnoxious voice screeched through the speakers above our heads.

"This isn't over Duncan!"

"Not yet it's not..." I mumbled, as I knew the show had been broadcasted across the nation.

Oh fuck...

Can't a guy catch a break?


	4. Tragic Notice

Here is a notice to everyone:

It was suggested that this notice be passed on to everyone, mostly because it was thought that everyone here deserves to know. A tragic accident occurred, causing the grief felt here. A texting driver struck A Cursed Monkey's car, severely damaging everyone inside. Emergency vehicles were quick on scene, and transported him to the nearest hospital for intensive care.

He was held inside for a few days, before the grim outlook took the worst turn it could.

A Cursed Monkey died on April 27.

He was surrounded by friends and family, when the end came about, he was at peace. Many tears were shed that day, and it felt like our city was to drown. Grief has struck all that knew this fantastic writer, and no one can yet utter his name without tears clouding their vision. I know I cannot either.

I am his brother, and often read over some of the work submitted here. At first, I was ignorant of his amazing gift with words, before he finally opened my eyes with a heart-racing story. I immediately came upon writing myself, and now, I sit here, on his computer, barely suppressing my own tears.

The ultimate reality has set in. He's gone. Not just from my life, or our mother's, or father's, but from all of yours too. Some of you may have taken it for granted, and I wish no ill-will there. He seemed like just another ordinary writer.

That's the way it seemed to me. Now, I don't know what to make of writing anymore. He gave me inspiration many times, and let me on the right track. He led many on the path less traveled, but the best of the paths to take.

He's left a whole in my life, and in many others. But, I did make him a heart-wrenching promise. Everyone that saw him made that same promise I did.

_To not live in sadness. To live life, because it can only take a second to live it no more._

Many variations of this saying exist, but this just holds more sentimental value, because it was a dying man's wish. This seems like the climax of a story, and in a twisted way, it is. But, take none for lies, it all happened. And life struck hard.

He's gone, and he won't make a magical reappearance. I can wish day in, and day out, that he might. But deep down, I am already familiar with this scenario. It won't come true.

I wished to inform all of you, because it's what he would've wanted. He cared deeply for all his readers. I remember the first review he got, on_ Disappearing Act._ The joy he had was amazing. That story was his stepping stone. A few days before the accident, he said to me, "I want to re-write my first. When I read it, I just found a trillion mistakes."

I cut him off there, telling him, that the first story, can not be replaced. It holds our beginnings, and though it may not be the best beginning, it's the only beginning. He smiled at me, and thanked me. I asked him what the next chapter of what story would be out, and he grinned. Telling me, wait and see.

I wish, oh how I wish, I could see it. Because all that would mean, is that he's not gone.

Today, I wish not to draw anguish, but to allow his legacy to live. I am unsure of what his stories will do. There was one author, not so much a familiar friend, but a wisher like me, who was present. I'd read his work. So did A Cursed Monkey.

He may continue the stories, out of pure respect and as a memorial to him. I coaxed him to, but hesitation was obvious. I cannot blame him in the least. Whatever his choice may be, it meant something to see an almost stranger rooting for his recovery.

Please, don't let this be forgotten. This message is obvious, and un-needed, but thousands do it anyways.

Don't text and drive. Look at the lives you ruin. Not just the person you kill, but the families struck by this tragedy.

It's not worth it. They can wait.

Please, please, don't do it.

Thank you.

Sincerely and grief-stricken,

Robert H. (Brother of Kai H./A Cursed Monkey)


	5. Chapter 5: Nice eyes

Disclaimer: We do not own Total Drama anything.

Robert here. Kai's brother. So, you're probably wondering what's going on, Kai has passed on, this story is history- right? Well, call it wrong, or right- but I'm doing what I, and our parents want. To preserve Kai's memory. He loved writing, this story and countless others were all contained within a few hundred notebooks he had. I was given all his stories, and after reading them, and what's he's published, I am truly amazed. The similarity between what he's written, and the few changes between what's already published... he's basically already written this story.

I felt, the best way of preserving his memory, and giving him the honor he deserves, would be to continue his stories, and write the ones he's got published.

I don't care if you feel like this is not good, because this is his **family's** choice. Not yours.

I'll respond to reviewers like he did, starting next chapter.

* * *

_**POV- Duncan**_

So let me recap. I have memory.

I freak out.

I pass out.

I wake up.

I break Harold's nose.

I love it.

I pass out again.

I wake up.

I'm flying in a giant jet, by a dude who has NO idea how to fly.

I almost fight Harold again.

I get in fight with Courtney.

ALMOST break up with her.

"... and now, I'm telling all you people this. Why am I telling all you people this?" Duncan concluded his summary, and realized, he'd told everyone what just happened... even though, they could all see it for themselves. He was sure that the camera's hadn't left him alone since the nightmare back in the hotel.

I exited the confession cam, and laid down in a bunk. The time was about 10, courtesy of someone's watch. The annoying beeping did nothing to soothe the headache that was growing in my head, or the fact that I was constantly angry.

After signing us off, Chris gave us a heads-up, we'd be in Egypt soon. Nothing quite like the heat and sand to help a guy's problems...

We were all confined to the loser's bunk area, because Chris is too cheap to let us in the first class area. And damn, that place is sweet! Finally, something worth winning. Besides the million.

After holding my eyes closed for a good few minutes, I huffed, and sat up. Apparently, sleep is out of the option.

So, I turned, and looked out the weak looking window. Seriously. I was afraid that thing was going to just break and we'd all be screwed. Until then, I'd enjoy the stars.

Sure, I'm a tough guy, but I'm also human. Sometimes, when I see something serene or pretty like stars, I get a thing for them. I just... really liked looking at the stars.

"You should be sleeping." Good-bye stars, hello... Leshawna?

"Since when do you care?" I asked quietly, being sure not to awaken any of our cast-mates. Though, me talking to Leshawna was bound to wake someone up.

"I don't. But you haven't been in the best shape lately. And that fight with Courtney should've drained ya." She said, and I could've sworn I saw a speckle of worry. Well, well, well. Mrs. Madonna seems to have begin thinking of me as a friend.

"I'm fine. And anything with Courtney is tiring. I've got an immunity to that now." I said, and Leshawna smiled a bit.

"Why are you still with her?" Leshawna asked suddenly, and I sighed. I knew that question was going to come from somebody. Normally... I would've told her off, but I dunno why, but my mind said to tell her. The truth. I may not be the best friends with Leshawna, but she was trying.

"'Cause... I was hopin' she would turn her attitude around, seeing how this wasn't, or isn't working out. I still see that part of her I fell in love with. How she can rebel too, and looked so hot doing it! I guess, I wanted to changed her from being so uptight and bossy, to being carefree and rebellious. But she looked amazing then, now... she still looks good, but I can't see her with all those contracts." I said quietly, and I hoped no one was listening. Especially Courtney.

"Oh... Duncan, I don't think she's going to change..." Leshawna said, and I sighed.

"I know. I was hoping I said, not expecting. If she goes off on me... we'll see." I said, and Leshawna nodded.

"What about Gwen?" She asked, and for some odd reason, my heart skipped a beat. I don't know WHY, but the mention of her name was enough to send me into a new feeling.

"What about her?" I asked, and Leshawna rolled her eyes.

"What'dya think of her?" Leshawna whispered exasperatedly.

"How should I know? She's a great friend?" I asked, completely unable to understand what she was going for.

"That's all?" Leshawna asked, eyes narrow.

"What is this, Truth or Anvil? I answered!" I said, having seen the segment involved Geoff and contestants. Which reminded me, Geoff, my best amigo, wasn't here. Apparently, not everyone qualified for the show, and some were left behind. Yet Ezekiel somehow made it. Speaking of the little runt, where was he? Jeez... seems like everyone's gone.

"Fine. Just get some sleep." Leshawna said, and my mouth opened to say "fine", but that's not what came out.

"She's got nice eyes." I blurted, and covered my mouth. What the fuck?

"Huh?"

"Um, nothing." I said, and turned around. But I saw Leshawna's reflection in the window, and saw her smirk.

"C'mon tough guy, I heard ya. Who?" She whispered, and I conceded.

"Gwen... she's got nice amethyst eyes..." I mumbled, and I heard Leshawna chuckle. Motherfucker, she tricked me.

"Nice to know. Get some sleep." She said, that smile never leaving her face. Damn, one woulda thought I was talking about her. And I'd never say that about her.

"Fine. You too..." I mumbled, and laid down again. I needed sleep, that much I knew. But it wasn't going to come without a price. I just hoped no one tried waking me, or getting close if I began flailing. Because it would suck to be them.

Closing my eyes, I hoped for the best.

* * *

**POV- Gwen**

"What about Gwen?"

I wasn't asleep- if you couldn't tell. I couldn't sleep on planes. I'd tried in the past, but it was impossible. I did some light traveling with my mom when she was an artist- the main reason I love drawing now. She'd take me and my brother to her art conventions, and we'd enjoy the sights of the city and art while with her. The only down side, was the method of travel. Plane. Ugh.

I was only able to fall asleep when I put my head on my mom's stomach, or shoulder. She'd hold my head, and just knowing shew was there was enough to soothe me to sleep. Now?

I was surrounded by people, but none that I'd do that with.

So, I was wide awake. And, by lucky coincidence, I heard Leshawna and Duncan talking. Well, Duncan whispering, Leshawna... not so whispering. She's not the quietest one on the plane.

They basically talked about Courtney- who I still can't stand- and why Duncan was still with her. I honestly couldn't see it. What he said did make sense, because in the first season, they were polar opposites. But once they actually got together, things went downhill.

Courtney just became meaner, bossier, and more annoying. Just intolerable. I can't believe his tolerance level. I mean, if he can stand her, I'm sure he could babysit with no problem!

Why'd I just bring babies into this? Lord knows he couldn't babysit. Or maybe he could?

Off track. Anyways, so I was laying there, thinking about basically nothing, when I hear the two of them beginning to talk. Interested, I listened in. I'm really glad I did.

So when I heard Leshawna ask Duncan, what he thought about me, I did a sharp intake.

"What about her?" I heard him ask, but the tone was very... different. It was slightly higher, and more strained. Not his, kickback tone.

"What'dya think of her?" Leshawna whispered, or tried to. It came out quite loudly- probably woke a few people.

"How should I know? She's a great friend?" He said, and I smiled slightly. So I was a good friend to him after all. Be useful.

I don't exactly know why, but my heart felt a little, tiny bit heavier. I wouldn't have noticed if he'd said that to my face, I probably would've joked with him. But laying here... it seemed... I dunno.

"That's all?" I could tell Leshawna was pressing her luck. She obviously didn't believe her, and apparently, it was for a good reason. She had pointed out to me earlier, that we hung out a lot last season. One of the main reasons for my brake-up with Trent.

"What is this, Truth or Anvil? I answered!" He whispered with strain. I could tell he wanted to throw in something else, but held his tongue wisely. Even though I didn't doubt he could hold his own, it wouldn't be good to be in another fight.

But I did get a good chuckle out of his comment. Actually... I might've called it a giggle. Something I don't do.

"Fine. Just get some sleep." I heard Leshawna say, meaning she was giving up- for now. She'd be back, with more pursuit.

What Duncan said next, blew my mind.

"She's got nice eyes."

What.

The.

FUCK?

Was that Duncan- the toughest guy on the show, the one who gave nuggies to deer, broke Harold's nose without a second thought, could probably rob you and not feel the slightest bit guilt- speaking? Or was that some crack-head who was replacing him?

I felt my face heat up so quick, I thought we were in the Amazon. I never actually thought of myself as having nice eyes. Actually, I never thought of myself having good anything.

"Huh?" I could practically hear Leshawna's success. She had to be celebrating. Oh man, tomorrow, I was in for it.

"Um, nothing." Duncan tried covering. He was good at stealing, probably amazing at lying normally, but this such occasion, was not his best lie. His words were rough and very unconvincing.

"C'mon tough guy, I heard ya. Who?" Leshawna began pressing again. Jeez, that's gonna get her in some real trouble someday.

"Gwen... she's got nice amethyst eyes..." He mumbled, and I knew I was blushing again. Even though it wasn't said to me, it was about me. Even though Trent had complimented me all the time, he never did it like... the way Duncan did. Which, I wasn't sure if there was even a difference.

It was just the way he said it. It was more... jeez, what's wrong with me? I'm letting this go straight to my head!

The fact that he knew my eye color was kind of amazing though. I barely knew my own color. I can bet my life, that Trent didn't know. He was sweet, but never actually could follow through with his compliments.

"Nice to know. Get some sleep." Leshawna said, and I heard the smile on her face. Yeah, you heard me right. HEARD the smile! That's how well I knew her, and the situation.

"Fine. You too..." He mumbled again, and I knew the blush on my face hadn't gone away. I'm sure he had one too- I mean, he did say that stuff after all.

I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling... safer. I don't know if it was the fact, Duncan was there, and I knew I could trust him, or the fact that I knew he may have liked me a little more then a friend, but I just felt better.

And when I closed my eyes, I slept like a baby.

I'll have to thank Duncan.


End file.
